


Irken Earthling

by Blutrippe



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: M/M, RaPr, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-16 00:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7245544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blutrippe/pseuds/Blutrippe





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KukkiisArt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KukkiisArt/gifts).



He talked fast and hectic.  
Well,that wasn’t new and it didn’t mean that what he said was actually important or had to be heard. At least he thought so.  
_Sluuuurp…_  
Now he ran from one end of the room to the next, still talking, still gesturing a lot.  
Maybe what he said was really important this time?  
Should he listen?  
_Sluuuuuuuuurp…_  
There were huge tentacles,a scream and breaking computer parts,another crush, then lasers.  
This show was really amazing, he should remember the channel so he could-  
“GIR!”  
_Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp..._  
He sounded angry now, even offended and the robot’s small head turned to his master, who looked a little plucked.  
“Yes?”, ”When I asked you to bring out the trash of my last research project, where did you bring it?”, the green master asked him, clearly grinding his teeth while his huge eyes were narrowed.  
Gir pulled the straw out of his mouth and smiled to the Irken widely.  
“I threw it to the funny coloured glasses!”, he answered in good spirits, throwing his arms up without throwing away his XXL slushie.  
It was cherry, his favourite flavour!  
“GIR!”, he yelled when the small robot took the straw back in his mouth and continued to suck the icy drink through it, when a higher pitched noise announced a call from the other green Irkens that somehow had something to say.  
Watching them talk, the small robot frowned a little, thinking that this show was terrible boring. He looked at his slush when a wonderful idea stroke him!  
Tacos!  
Yes, he needed Tacos!  
Wiggling his feet the small robot hummed the doom song, which his master forbid him to ever sing again, while moving his head from one side to the other, while the cables connected with the inside of his head, funnily scratched along the edge of it.  
His Zim master was still discussing with the masters-masters and Gir took a deep breath to soak in the rest of his slush quickly so he could get upstairs and eat a bunch of Tacos!  
_Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrp..._  
Without a warning Gir screamed in agony, throwing the empty mug away as he held his head. Zim and the Tallest looked at him, waiting for his scream to stop for a bit until the small robot just fell backwards and with that into silence again.  
“What is wrong with him?”, Purple asked, not really concerned, more wondering about another piece of madness Zim surrounded himself with.  
“I...don’t know...Yet…”, the tiny Irken confessed quietly. “Maybe he connected some of the recharge cables wrong and got shorted...I will figure it out later…”, he turned back to the monitor in front of him. “However! My next plan is perfect and…”.  
He stopped listening here.  
Not just because the plans of his master mostly had major mistakes and went wrong in the end, but because his system slowly focused on others.  
Gir never had a brain freeze before and so his system didn’t know how to react to it.  
What now?  
Still connected to the power cables and the ones that were for his master’s computers, the little eyes turned red as he started to connect with the humans internet. The small robots system was still dull but worked itself through the mass of information that he now faced, gathering information about human wars, weapons and techniques of fighting, no matter what fight.  
It was really boring and included a lot of unnecessary numbers, but in the time Gir’s brain needed to unfreeze again, it completely functioned and did what it always was supposed to do:  
Gathering information.  
A shock ran through his body before the robot sat up, screaming again as something in his mind was pushed away.  
Zim looked at him, waiting with a sceptic look till Gir would stop it, still holding the two welding sticks he worked with on him. Once he did stop, his eyes turned turquoise again and Gir sighted long and deeply.  
“I fixed the-”, ”I want a shlush!”, ”Gir,I was about to explain you that you shouldn’t eat so many cold things, it’s not-”, ”Then Icecream!”, without waiting for his master's instructions, the small robot jumped from the table he laid on and maundered out of the laboratory, singing the jingle of his favourite cereal commercial.

**~**

“Sir,new message on monitor three…”, one of the smaller Irkens on the computer table notes towards his tallest.  
“Whatever, open it if you must…”, Purple commented, clearly not amazed by the chance to deal with news from one of the Invaders.  
“Yes Sir…”, the communicator answers before opening the message.  
Hundreds of pictures, small texts and short videos open and the whole hall turns quiet.


	2. Chapter 2

“And...And all they managed to do was to blow up each other asses!”, Purple nearly screamed before both of them broke into hysterical laughter.  
“They figured out how all kinds of guns work but barely made it to Mars!”, the Tallest hung onto each other, not able to calm from the irony all these information bared.  
Since the message with all the information about human warfare and weapons arrived and they decided to take a closer look, they spent hours with going through it and pulling their amusement out of it. For them, humanity was a joke in itself and the fact that they sent Zim there, even though he still hadn’t managed any victories, just made all of this nonsense better. Purple lifted his arm, sliding some of the interactive pictures to the side, looking for the next hilarious fact about this dumb species while Red seemed to have found something that was worth reading into a little.  
“And then… Look at that!”, one of the communicator Irkens, that was just about to unpack his lunchbox, looked up to see what it was now that his master found so amusing.  
“They still struggle with laser technology! As if it was Abeiner technology! They’re so dumb and underdeveloped, I wonder how they’re still alive…”, Purple wiped a tear from all the laughing away before he looked over to Red, who was still reading.  
“Hey.... Hey! Did you even listen?”, “Uh huh, underdeveloped, very funny, sure…”, the tall Irken mumbled before moving his hand so more information would appear before him about the topic he just studied.  
“That’s not fair, I laughed about your jokes too! What are you reading there?”, Red looked to his partner annoyedly and moved his thin claws to change the size of the picture at the end of the text.  
“You did ‘cause I’m funny… This is an atomic bomb… It’s a heavy hitter and history shows that humans are quite trigger-happy with this kind of weapon… Many of their countries possess one, even though a lot of them say they don’t....”, Purple looked at the small communicator Irken that munched on his lunch, his mouth covered in sugar powder, before he looked at his partner as if he surprisingly went insane. “So what?”, “I don’t know, it somehow makes me glad we don’t fight them… So messy and reckless...”, Red mumbled very quietly and mostly to himself before closing all the holographic documents that surrounded the Tallest til now.  
“Come on, let’s eat something before we do a few inspection calls, what do-”, a well known noise started and some of the lunch break holding communicators tried to hectic clean their boards off so they could check on the call.  
“My Tallest, it’s Zim from earth!”, “Crap…”, ”No, no! Let’s end this with something funny before we go to lunch Red! Bring him on!”, Purple ordered down, already snickering just from imagining what that dumb one did this time.  
“Yes my-”, the holographic monitor popped up and showed a very plucked looking Zim, covered in dirt and about to rub that off with a rag.  
“My Tallest!”, he nearly salutes, his small claw stopping half the way up as if he forgot about the movement. “What is it this time Zim?”  
“I call to report that plan ‘cuckoo clock’ failed on account of that filthy Dib-human…”, the small Irken finally wiped off the dirt while Gir walked through the background, carrying a box, full to the brim with spoons while singing something he named ‘kitten dogs’.  
“Really? Again Zim?”, Purple looked demoralised and crossed his arms before his chest-  
Not that he ever had hopes in this one.  
“What was it this time?”, “Just… The Dib-Human used a condemned ruse I… didn’t see coming this time…”, “This time, of course…”, the Tallest snickered quietly before Red cleared his throat.  
“Well then I guess you should focus on what we told you to do: observing and-”, “No my Tallest! I am already in preparation of my next, genious plan! This time the human stink won’t see me coming and I will wipe him out of my way! And then Zim will conquer the disgusting clump of dirt for my Tallest!!”.  
Purple had already turned around, one claw on his partners shoulder as he laughed choking while Red smiled patiently at the small Irken on the transmission.  
“Am I getting this right? You still fight one human…? One before the earth?”, his voice was smooth but threatening at the same time, like a snake before it strikes.  
“Why don’t you just get the planet done? Once we have the planet that one human won’t bother…”, “You don’t know him my tallest! That insolent foolboy is without any respect and fear for our race! But Zim will teach him! My new Plan is-”.  
“Yes, yes, fine, go play Zim, we’ll call back!”, Red gave a sign to one of the communicator Irkens who dropped half of his lunch while hectically pressing buttons to stop the transmission.  
“What the… Red, what is it with you today?! Hey!”, Purple stumbled a bit before he followed Red outside the hall, hurrying to keep track of him.  
“Did you hear what he just said?”, “What? Beside his stupid plan and the fact that he-”, “Purple!”, “Yes, damn, I heard it! So what, he failed! We don’t expect him to succeed!”, “You…”,Red sighed deeply to regather his patience with his partner before entering their private room. Once the door closed behind them, he turned around.  
“He said that this human boy has no respect for our race…”, “So…? Y...You wanna… Tell Zim to teach him?”, Purple stayed by the door, looking confused.  
Red's eyes narrowed.  
Sometimes the other Irken was a real test for his patience and even though he tricked him every now and then; in moments like this it wasn’t enough.  
“Take a step back: The humans, a race that isn’t the smartest but quickly with solving problems with guns, no matter if that’s smart or not, no matter if their own kind dies or not, know about us. Yes they’re slow, yes they’re underdeveloped but just-  
Just… Let’s image they find out about us… Let’s say we decide to invade and all they do is throwing atomic bombs at our ships while laughing about the contamination of their own kind… We don’t have experience with that kind of bomb Purple… I share your humor about all other kinds of weapons and human stupidity but this one thing worries me…”.  
Red saw that his partner was unsure what to say, that he was struggling to follow his thoughts. For him the Irkens are almighty and even though Red would love this to be true, he remembered the failure of some Invaders, and the loss that came with it, all too well.  
“Purple…”,his voice turned more quiet, nearly gentle as he moved closer to his partner, his claws gently touching his cheek.  
“What… What do you think we need to do? I mean… If they’re a threat?!”, “Not a threat in the common sense love… More… A possible future complication we could avoid…”, Red smiles as if these pretty words just solved the problem they faced.  
“But how?”, “Just think about it! It’s only one human who knows it! We need to get rid of just one! We call Zim back here, we tell him some kind of fancy lie so he won’t get spotted in the last second from the rest of humanity and then we take time of our own to calculate the risk, the possibilities and the potential solutions!”, again he gently touched his partners cheek and this time Purple leaned a little into the touch, even closed his bright and shimmery eyes.  
“Right now the solution is simple… And we need to use this chance as long as it is like this… Just trust me, alright? We get Zim back here…”, “Can I call him? Can I lie to him?”, Red grinned about this question, just a few inches parting their lips.  
“Of course… And with Zim we simply get rid of that human too…”, “I like the sound of that…”, Purple whispered, his breath fondling his lover's lips.  
“Of course you do…”.


	3. Chapter 3

“I understand...So you were created for him? And can you remember who build you?”, Dib looked up from the small notebook he wrote into for quite a time now, just to look into the shocked face of Gir who stopped eating his taco.  
“What?! I was born!”, “Well...That’s, technically, what I said!”, he smiled encouragingly, hoping this would not be the end of their talk. Another pause before the small, green dog cheerfully continued to eat again. “Okidokey!”, he hummed before he continued to munch his food.  
Dib sighed. He was sitting here for an hour now, trying to get information out of that stupid robot whose loyalty to Zim was pretty easy to buy with just a bag of tacos and a cupcake.  
Realising that this topic wouldn’t be held up any longer, the black haired boy quickly looked through his notes to see what he could amend something important as long as he had the chance. Gir however finished his third taco and searched the paperbag for the next one, the pretty, pink cupcake beside him.  
Looking at all this skeptically, Dib still wondered how he managed it to smuggle all these things into the library without getting caught and thrown out!  
Another look over his shoulder, making sure they were still alone, before he returned to his anatomical sketch of Zim, clearing his throat.  
“So… Look here, do you think this sketch of him is correct?”, he asked the robot in the green dog suit careful while Gir pulled out the half eaten taco and points at the sketch.  
“You forgot the wiggly thing there!”, he pointed out helpfully and in a happy tone. “It’s not always there but whe-”, “GIR! What are you doing ?!”, Zim dropped the bunch of books he had collected and Dib believed to see something like a blush on the alien's face, not realising his own.  
“I got a cupcake!”, the green dog declared as if he won the greatest battle.  
“Ha, you were a fool to bring him here without watching him Zim! I took my chance!”, Dib leaped up and raised the notebook over his head so the green boy wouldn’t be able to reach it. “And I only just started!”, “Give me that!”, the Irken boy in disguise jumped against the earthling who just stepped back a little, laughing as he watched Zim trying to reach his notes.  
“I clearly proved that I’m smarter than you! I will-”, “You fool aren’t smarter! Your numbskull of a father crashed the internet of this filthy world so Zim was forced to come here!”, “Hey, actually my father is a- UFF”, the boy started his peeved indoctrination when the small invader grabbed one of the books he just dropped and threw the biggest right into Dib's face.  
“Haha, who outsmarted who now Dib-stink?!”, Zim grabbed the notebook and jumped on the table as he tried to rip the notebook apart.   
“Knowledge is a weapon!”, Gir mumbled from the background, starting to eat his cupcake, while his master began to bite on the notebook desperate, before trying to rip the pages out.  
“You won’t be able to destroy it… I made it myself, it will survive no matter what you do to it Zim!”, Dib explained with a tone of triumph.  
The Irken looked annoyed at his antagonist before his eyes wandered around hectically to find a solution to this, admittedly, unexpected problem.  
“Stop that Zim! You can’t destroy it and you won’t be able to protect it here so just give-”, the green boy turned and threw the notebook against a high grown, thin man in black who stopped and looked at the thing that just hit him. His face was pale, his eyes were dark circled and his hair a mess. Quickly his spider like fingers browsed through the notes before he turned and went on.   
“Wha- You just… How is this gonna help you?!”, Dib looked at the alien as if he just lost his mind completely.   
With a deeply annoyed expression, opening and clenching his fists, Zim turned back to him before standing up in a triumphal pose, his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
“Zim just solved this problem perfectly fine…”, he declared in a deeply satisfied voice.  
A short moment of silence between them, just filled by Gir’s munching.  
“How… Will this...Help you…? I...Will just go and ask my notebook back…”, “Of course…”, the Irken grinned wide and mischievously.  
Dib shook his head, letting out a deep sigh, before he walked over to the man in black who had a book about room decoration and ‘Knives and Swords through the history’ under his arm.  
“Uhm… Excuse me sir…”,he started before the man turned around rabid, looking down at the boy with wide, maniacal eyes.  
“Yes?”, his voice had something disturbingly shrill, even tho his tone was quiet and lurking.  
Dib stumbled back, staring at the man with wide eyes.  
When he wouldn’t say anything, the man turned around again and walked away.  
After a longer moment of silence and disbelieving staring, Dib turned to the other people in the library, pointing at the man's backpack.  
“Am I really the only one who sees that he’s carrying a machete?!”.  
When no one even looked at him, Dib dropped his arm and returned to Zim, who jumped from the table with a self-satisfied grin. “You’re such a jerk… And just angry ‘cause hi-skool will blow your cover…”, he grumbled at the disguised alien.  
“Nonsense! Zim knew stupid Dib- moron wouldn’t take it on with that one, that’s all!”, he explained cockily while collecting the books he dropped before again.  
Since he was right about this point, and Dib hated it when the alien was right, he turned quiet for a bit, watching him pick up the books while reading the titles.  
“And because you’re not scared there’s no reason to read about ‘human biology’...Or… ‘the growing process of humans’… ‘Puberty for dummies’... Hey that sounds like it fits you!”, he snickered before protecting his face from another flying book as the Irken invader started shouting and insulting him in such a volume, that all of a sudden a huge, old woman appeared behind them.  
“This… Is a library… People come here to read… In silence!”, she growled before grabbing Dibs collar to throw him out.  
“Hey! Why me?! He’s the one who screamed like a maniac!”, the woman stopped and looked at Zim who quietly looked back.  
“He’s ugly, I pity him…”, “That’s because he’s an ALIEN!!!”, “Be quiet already!”, “He has a dog with him here! A dog who eats! A green dog! Do I really need to be more obvious?!”, the lady took him to the door just to threw him out, closing the doors behind him.   
Dib huffed angrily, pressing his teeth together in order not to scream out his growing despair about not being heard from this godforsaken world.  
The door opened again and the big man in black stepped out to leave the building in wide, quick steps.  
“That one’s got a machete in his backpack!!!!”, he screamed before another book hit his head.

~


	4. Addition Chapter 3

“Hey Dib - stink, how was the library?”, Gaz asked with a cruel laugh as she crossed the kitchen with her game while Dib held an ice pack to his head.  
“I don’t wanna talk about it…”, he mumbled half into the ice, groaning about how the whole world around him could be, and stay, this ignorant about all these obvious things…  
And because of his headache.  
“So Zim did win this time?”, “He did NOT win! There was nothing to win- Why do you have to be like this Gaz?!”, laughing ignobly she walked upstairs into her room to finish her game in silence, knowing she poured salt into the right wound.  
Dib groaned again and slid down from his chair to walk into the living room. Maybe some TV would distract him, maybe he could take a nap, or talk to the girl on the couch.  
“Wait. Who are you?”, he asked the strange girl skeptically.  
She turned her head and looked at him as a smile appeared on her pale skin.  
“Hello! I am waiting for your sister, I’m a friend of hers!”, “My sister...Doesn’t have friends…”, Dib looked over his shoulder as if he expected an unusual prank from Gaz and she’d appear right now but the kitchen remained empty.  
“Oh sure she does! Everyone has friends!”, she declared in a still cheering voice. This now seemed scary and the boy backed off a little, lowering the ice pack he had held.  
“Gaz… Has her video games…”, “And me!”, she now stood up, straightened her green dress and walked towards him.   
The confidence in her behavior made Dib shiver and so he stepped back even more, entering the kitchen again, still holding the ice pack.  
“Who are you?”, “That shouldn’t be important…”, “I wanna know the name of my sister’s friend… Why wouldn’t you tell me?”, the girl grinned now.  
It was a wide and wicked one, triumphal and full of herself.  
Dib's eyes widened as he dropped the ice bag and pointed at her; he had seen this kind of smile so often, so many years now!  
“You’re an alien! You’re like Zim!”, he screamed at her as if this would help him to get rid of her as she still came closer, her hands crossed behind her back.  
“Eeew… Don’t compare me to him… I’m different… I’m successful… That’s why they sent me here, you see? Zim would’ve never been able to do this… He has been here for so many years and still hasn’t conquered the earth…”, the girl hissed in revulsion before she finally stopped to approach Dib.  
“But… But why would you tell me all this? Why would you endanger your mission?”, “You don’t know my mission, foolish human…”, Dib hesitated.  
“You’re... here to invade earth…?”, “No…”.  
A hair rising silence spread between them and he could feel his heart clench for a second. This made no sense. Zim was already here to invade the planet and she said she wasn’t but then…  
“What is your mission?”  
“Distracting you…”.  
Something behind Dib broke and he heard the window swing open before hitting the wall. He heard robotic movements, a metallic laugh before he hit the floor. When he tried to scream, someone forced a rag into his mouth while he was captured, struggling against the force that sat on his back.  
“Stupid human…”, the girl hissed as she came closer.  
The image of her flickered before it melted away and showed him the irken body she had without the hologram disguise.  
“When my tallest said this was a special mission, I thought it’d be something difficult… But this was really easy!”, she chuckled and pressed her hands onto her mouth to not be too noisy.  
Dib struggled hard, fighting against the rope in panic as the Irken girl kneeled closely before him, her robot still holding him down and in place.  
“Judging from your room you have a thing for space… Well, I guess today is your lucky day menial human…”.


	5. Chapter 5

When he opened his eyes first, all he saw was black and sometimes light dots.  
Then he swooned again.  
Dib wasn’t sure how often he woke up, with a head heavier than his neck could carry, just falling not moving coordinated, catching shreds from the world around him, still not able to build a thought, not realising what was happening.  
At some point he realised that his body was moved, his arms grabbed and his feet were dragged over the floor. It was so terrible hard, but somehow Dib managed to open his eyes, even lift his head a little.  
Two Irkens held him and carried him over a long hallway, talking to each other. Slowly he moved his head a bit more, searching for something known, something familiar but the more his dizzy mind saw, the more confused he got.  
Then, again, he lost his consciousness.  
A stinging pain, bright light, deeper voices talking to each other…  
Another pain, this time it was like electricity ran through his nerve system and he screamed.  
“See? I knew that would help to get the rest of the serum out of him….”, Red chuckles amused and put away the teaser he had.  
Dib looked at him stunned before his head moved around as he tried to see where he was.  
“What is- Where am I?! And who are you?!”, he moved his arms, just to realise they were in tight joists that wouldn’t allow much movement.  
“Oh I guess you have a very good idea who we are…”, Red smiled and tilted his head a bit to the side.  
“You’re Zims leader? But.. I thought you were two?”, “We are…”, “Then who is the other one?”, Dib tried to look behind him, light panic starting to grab him.  
He was sitting on a high chair, his legs pinned to the sides, his arms joisted to the leans.  
It was like a very strange armchair and to his growing worry, he realised that it didn’t close completely on his back. His exposed back.  
In panic he looked down on himself, realising that he was just wearing his boxershorts.  
“This shouldn’t be your concern human…”, Red answered calm before he moved to the side,looking at Dib as if he just catched a very nasty insect that he wasn’t sure what to do with.  
“What is this? What are you doing with me?! Will you kill me?!”.  
“Foolish human… If I wanted to have you killed, don’t you think I could have had that easier? No, don’t worry… I am merely interest in your...Hmm… Let’s call it: Way of thinking…”, he chuckled again while his thin claws put another clasp on him, this time over his forehead to fixate his head.  
“Stop it! Stop, please! What are you… Why me?!”, Dib felt himself shaking, his fingers clawing into the lean of the chair.  
Red sights as if this question was bothersome or he might talk to a child that he already explained the same thing a million times.  
“Cause you know about us… And it was easy to erase you from people's minds… Not that there had been many who we had to help forgetting you…”, the tallest grinned down to Dib as if he just won a discussion with a very striking argument.  
“We don’t know much about humans, even tho I red some of the research files the Neo- Mandacians wrote about human anatomy and such…”, he shrugged, even tho the human couldn’t see it.   
“The what?”, Dib hoped that conversation would stop the alien from whatever he was about to do, or at least gave him time to figure out a plan to get out of here alive and without any injuries.  
“Neo- Mandacians… They’re rather smart, don’t have a planet, but a bunch of ships… find satisfaction in research of all kinds… They had a time where they were fascinated by humans and their anatomy… When they found out that humanity was knowing about their doing, they started to mock them with corn circles-  
But why am I telling you this? You won’t tell anyone anyhow!”, the tallest laughed ironic and Dib could hear something being moved over a metallic surface. Cold sweat covered his body in seconds, panic making him scratch over the sides of his chair.  
“And even if you told someone, nobody would believe you as we all know…”, again Red chuckled and Dib felt, beside fear, that despair started to choke him slowly.  
“Anyhow…”, he could feel one of the claws move up and down his spine and he tried to move away from it, a choking sound coming from him, just all too human.  
“Please… Don’t hurt me…”.  
“I just want to do some research… It’s for the greater good Dib- Human… Neo- Mandacians wrote a lot about human anatomy but forgot the way of thinking.... Or they just didn’t cared…”, he could hear how some kind of machine was started and flinched, fighting the straps even more as tears ran down his cheeks.  
“I, however, am very interested in those processes… So I do some research myself…”.

~

Two weeks had passed since his last talk to the tallest and since he had to spend yesterday in the annoying thing they called library, he felt pressured to be productive today.  
For hours he was building on this damn robot and just felt…   
Somewhat hounded…  
“Is this a new TV?”, Girs voice pulled Zim out of his thoughts as he twitched and turned around.  
The tiny robot looked at his master, in his arms a small box full of naked cats.  
Zim looked at him sceptic.  
“No Gir, this is my new master plan to conquer this stupid, filthy planet!”  
One of the kittens made a tiny noise.  
“What… What are you doing with those ugly things? Aren’t they supposed to have fur? Where did you even get them Gir? I told you not to bring anything down here that I don’t tell you to bring!”, the more the Irken spoke, the angrier his voice got while the small robot just grinned wide and very winning.  
“Ima make them invaders!”, he explained as if it was the most logical thing ever to do, before turning and leaving.  
Sceptically Zim looked after him, shaking his head before turning back to his machine.   
He had a strange feeling… As if something was… Not right… Or about to-  
A buzzing sound filled his laboratory as a small lamp got activated.  
A call?  
This was unusual but Zim hopped down from his chair and ran over to the monitor before taking the call.  
Purple looked down on him, a very severe expression on his face while Zim saluted.  
“Pack your things and come home…”, his words were cold and clear and the small invader looked at his leader in shock.  
“What?! But my tallest, Zim just is about to finish his gorgeous plan to conquer this dopey planet for you! And this time not even the stinky Dibshit will see me coming until it’s too late!!!”, with a evil laughter the small Invader threw his arms up while his tallest looked all unimpressed.  
Yes, Purple had been aware of the fact that this would turn out to be a hard call but he was the one asking for it to do it.  
“Zim… Zim, focus! We need you back home as soon as possible so pack your things and return here!”, he could see the small irkens eyes turn bigger and bigger in amazement, in the pride he felt. Purple was practicing these words for a few hours so he wouldn’t laugh too much.  
“Me? Returning home? I will get a superior mission?!”, “Sure….”,”But my Tallest, who will cover the earth then?”, “Let that be my concern Zim…”, the small irken looked sceptic and narrowed his eyes.  
“Where is Tallest Red? Shouldn’t he deliver these fantastic news, which honor my superiority, together with you?”.  
A longer pause in which Purple looked at the Invader as if he was about to drag him through the monitor and slam his head on the keypad of the communicator; of course Zim wasn’t aware of this kind of look.  
“He is doing some important research… The control brains are involved in the latest events, so I suggest you hurry coming home Zim… The earlier you start your mission, the better…”.  
“Yes sir!”, the monitor went black and the Invader felt himself vibrating under the excitement he felt right now. Finally they recognised his genius and his talents!  
He knew this day would come and now that it was here, he nearly couldn’t believe it.  
Excited he called for Gir, ordering him to pack his things and throw out the damn cats, what just made the robot burst out in tears that he ignored.  
While his servant now would prepare their leaving, Zim ran through the night, feeling the cold air in his face as he hurried through the dark streets.  
Before he could realise it, he found himself before Dibs house, out of breath and a light blush in his green face. He completely forgot his disguise, a mistake that normally never would have had happened to him, but this was a delicate situation.  
Looking up to the window that belonged to the Dib humans room, he breathed in deeply, about to call him out, rub it into his face that he would be a elite, he already could feel the sign put on his forehead!  
But as he lifted his hands, Zim realised that this was dumb.  
Why should he do this?  
The Dib and he were enemies, he wouldn’t care and just try to mock his superior being like always! The invader grinded his teeth angrily, he always just made things complicated and would see the fact that Zim would leave as personal win.  
No, he wouldn’t allow that!  
This was no victory for the stinking human Dibshit, this was a calling for Zim into higher ranks where he always had belonged!  
Zim glared up to the window again, making a grumpy noise before he turned around and furiously stomped back.  
Dib didn’t deserve these good news, if anything Zim should burn his pathetic house down as a last goodbye! How could he even think for a single moment that this would have been a good idea?!  
The irken race would wipe out humanity soon enough and with that he would laugh about the fate of these, laugh about Dibs complete defeat.  
Stupid humans…  
Where once his house stood, an empty gap between houses gaped towards him now. Zim felt a little heavy hearted when seeing this but just walked quicker to his spaceship in which Gir already waited for him.  
As he readied the ship, starting the engine and preparing the coordination system, the small robot wiggled with his feet.  
“Can I sing the doom song on our way home?”, he asked just to make Zim shiver hard.  
“I promise you, if you sing this song I’ll drag you behind me the whole way home…”, the invader threatened in a serious tone, not looking at him.  
Gir frowned unhappily and thought about this possibility for a little.  
“Can I sing another song?”, Zim sighed and massaged his forehead.  
“A short one… Yes…. And just one…”, he mumbled.  
“Okey dokey!”, Gir declared, throwing his hands in the air.  
As the ship raised into the air and slowly left the earth, Gir sung the opening song of ‘mysterious mysteries’ and Zim felt his heart drop a little.  
Maybe… Just maybe… He would miss the Dib…


	6. Chapter 6

“Master? Master, maybe it’s an impossible task?”, Gir asked as he entered the room with another bunch of papers and disks that were loaded with informations which were not on stock in the normal system of this Irken base.  
“Don’t be a fool!”, he snarled over his shoulder before glaring to his robot who happily sucked his own fist.  
“The Tallest simply gave me this mission knowing, that my genius brain was perfect for this task and so they gave it to me! This mission is the hardest the Irken race ever faced and absolute no mistake is tolerable!”, with these words Zim turned his chair back to the control board that was covered in papers and notes, just like the seven screens that were leaned towards him.   
The tallest gave him the most difficult planet to conquer because his superior being wouldn’t fail them like the other invaders before him, they said so themselves and who was Gir to question their credibility?  
Just because this planet had over forty two languages which were spoken fluently by all the occupants there, didn’t mean Zim was given an impossible task!  
He just had gotten a very big mission and the preparation for it was… Well, time consuming.  
All in all Zim had already spent two earth weeks in this room, studying the behavior and first language, not even starting with the manners, culture and other tongues they spoke.  
Normally an irken invader would have been just sent to the planet and would fit in with the help of their robot, but this planet was known to act very radical with strangers and since they lost seventeen Invaders there already, it was decided to be more sensitive this time.  
All he had to work with were reports of other Invaders that failed on this mission already, before they had been executed or died under other unhappy circumstances. Also there were some infos from the Neo- Mandacians, which Zim appreciated the most at this point.  
“I put the news on the table!”, Gir announced before just dropping all he brought into the room to the floor before wiggling to his ‘chair of silence’, as his master called it, to snack some chips.  
Zim just started a video that showed some of the people talking so he could get a feeling for this language he trained for two weeks, when a quiet, buzzing sound announced a visitor.  
The door opened and one of the communicator Irkens stood in the door, a clipboard in his claws on which he tapped a few times to start a new data.  
“Invader Zim, I’m here in order of the almighty Tallest to collect a status report ...How is your status?”.  
The invaders left eye twitched stressed as he looked at the communicator, who was ready to type down his words to report back.  
“I’m doing just fine… Of course I am, my predominant self is perfect for this mission so I’m doing perfectly fine!”, the more he spoke, the louder his voice got and so he now stood on his chair, his claws raised over his head as he laughed.  
“Noted… So, how many languages did you learn till now?”, the communicator asks, looking back up to Zim who lowered his arms with a annoyed look on his face.  
“How many? You dare to doubt me?!”, “Nah, I just do my job… So, two?”.  
A longer pause filled the room between the Irkens before Gir pulled his fist out of his mouth again with a wet, smacking noise.  
“He is about to finish the grammar for the first one!”, the tiny robot helped out with some facts just so that Zim threw an empty cup at his face to shut him up.  
“Not even one?!”, “I wanna bring perfect results and perfect results take time, even from superior Invaders like me!”, Zim snarled at the other Irken with an aggressive tone.  
“I heard their languages are damn hard to learn, huh?”, “Nonsense, I’m an elite now and I just laugh about the try of this race to complicate their communication!”.  
The other Irken looked at Zim rather sceptical now while Gir tried to get the cup off of his head.  
“I see...So… I’ll just tell you that you’re making progress?”, “Stunning! Tell them I make stunning progress!”, he ordered, moving his hand so the communicator would note this correctly for his tallest. “Sure, sure…”, he mumbled as he drew a donut on his protocol, hidden from Zim's eyes.  
“Alright, I’ll tell them about your breathtaking progress…”, he mumbled while putting sprinkles on his donut sketch while turning around and leaving the room.  
Zim sighed deeply as he sat back down on his chair, leaning back and turning to his monitor.  
“This mission is really huge... “, the small Irken mumbled as his claws felt for the sign on his forehead that was for everyone to see, making clear that he was an elite now.  
This promotion came from the control brains, Purple had told him, and he wasn’t willing to disappoint and fail!  
They really wanted this planet and Zim would deliver!  
He would give them this piece of filth completely intact and they would celebrate him, they would see that he was the perfect Invader!  
Zim sighed and opened another pack of snacks as he continued to read about the language he studied for so long now.  
With a muffled scream Gir finally got his head free and looked shocked into the room as he breathed in deeply. “Oh my… I thought I’d suffocate!”.  
“Don’t be a fool Gir, you can’t suffocate…”, Zim mumbled as he switched the chapter.  
“But what if I can?!”, he looked at his master in terror but the Irken didn’t respond.  
Some more earth days passed before Zim decided to call the Tallest himself.  
The Irken they sent for control annoyed him deeply so the invader typed in some orders before calling his Tallest.  
“The almighty tallest Red and Purple are not available… If you want I will leave them a message Inva-”  
“What?! Where are they?!”  
“I am not allowed to share this information with unauthorised-”  
“FOOL! I am Elite Imperator Zim and I will talk to the Tallest to proceed about my mission! Connect me you insolent maggot!”  
There was a small pause when the communicator Irken looked at Zim like he just completely lost his mind.  
“What is a maggot…?”, “Connect me!”.  
The monitor turned black.  
Zim grinded his teeth, his claws scratching over the edges of his chair.  
“I won’t stand this! Gir! Bring me my tools!”, “Yes Master!”  
An hour passed in which he manipulated his own communication system, constantly mumbling insults, grumbling about the communicators and how they treated them without respect. There was a buzzing noise before he was electrocuted and the monitor showed the Irken logo.  
Voices were to hear, clearly his Tallest so he pushed himself back up, straighten his antennas before he sits back down, ready to face his Tallest.  
“...this is really disgusting Red…”  
“It’s not my fault they’re so filthy… I already made the most part of skin here unable to bleed and cauterized the wound… But you see this? These are all nerves…”, a sound of movement before a painful moan was to be heard.  
Zim looked sceptically at the half dark monitor, moving some of his tools before he finally got a picture in.  
It was a big room, full of instruments and smaller monitors on which anatomical cards were open as help or orientation.  
He could see the back of a chair on which someone was sitting, strapped down in place, unable to move. Both his tallest were bowing over the open back, facing something that looked like bones and very, very thin cables. Again there was this painful moan, the voice shaking before it turned into a muffled scream, then a crying.  
“My… My tallest?”, Zim brought attention to himself.  
Both of them turned around so he could see more of the thing they were focusing on, could see the instruments in Reds claws as they looked at him in surprise.  
“Zim?!”, “How did you get connected in here?! We made clear that we wish no disturbance!”.  
The invader proudly pressed his chest out and grinned in a winning manner.  
“I know, but I simply bypassed the control bridge and after I hacked the boarding computer and was aware of the room you were in my Tallest, I simply connected to you myself…!”.  
“He made it himself!”, Gir cheered before Zim kicked him out of the view.  
“What do you want that is so important and can’t wait?!”, Purple baffled at him, moving in the way between their test subject and the camera.  
“I managed to crack their first language my Tallest! If I continue in this speed, I will soon be able to travel to this planet and invade it for you!”, he could hear Red chuckle in the background while Purple smiled, trying to hide his anger.  
“Of course… These are great news… We knew your superior brain would be perfectly capable of mastering this mission Zim….”,Purple had a charming voice now and folded his claws together in a sign of patience with the other Irken while Red took down another tool from the holder to continue his work.  
There was another moan and Zim looked confused.  
“My Tallest…”, “What is it Zim?! Don’t you see we’re busy?! Focus on your mission and we’ll call you soon!”, the monitor went black.  
And Zim went pale.  
He knew that voice….  
It was just a moan, the muffled idea of a voice, but he knew it…  
“This Zim is gonna be the death of me!”, Purple cursed as he re-programmed the system in this room, so Zim wouldn’t crack it again.  
“Don’t wish for it too loudly!”, Red laughed and exposed another nerve strand. After he put a small flag on it, he gave some electricity to it so he’d see what it would do in Dib’s body, just so the boy screamed into the gag again, struggling against the bonds that held him in place.  
“This seems to be another painful one too…”, Red commented amused as he changed the tool again to expose the next.  
“Zim still hasn’t figured out that this mission is just to get rid of him… He thinks he’s superior but can’t wrap his head around it that we gave him the most deadly planet… No matter how perfect he’ll learn the languages, they’ll kill him…”, it now was Purple who laughed as he closed the program and appeared back to his partner to look at the strange beauty that Dibs exposed spine and their nerves were.  
“You already figured out which ones carry thoughts?”, “Not yet… But maybe humans work differently… Maybe even the nerves that carries thoughts are painful if stimulated… I need to think about it a bit…”, Red stood back up and stretched before he grinned at Purple.  
“Let’s get something to eat, I’m sick of the smell of human flesh, it’s so sweet when you burn it, I feel hungry from it all the time…”, both of them laughed and when Red finished cleaning his claws, he simply threw the towel on Dib's head.  
The lights were killed and the door closed behind the tallest as they left.  
Once he was alone again, Dib could hear how the infusion bags were opened again and sent fluids and minerals into his veins, maybe even light painkillers if he was lucky.  
Looking outside the huge window front his chair was standing before, his uncovered eye looked into the deep darkness of space, looking at stars, unknown planets and smaller Irken ships.  
While he processed the beauty of what he just saw and the terrifying things that happened to him constantly when the Tallest weren’t eating or ruling, he thought about Zim and the fact that he was about to die too.  
Another horrible, choked sob escaped him before he started crying, his body shaking from the pain, the cold air and the whole situation he was in, Zim was in.  
They would die…  
They would die and he couldn’t even say goodbye…


End file.
